


Dinner is Ruined

by monteyjames



Series: Where Killmonger isn't Dead [2]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 03:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14300001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monteyjames/pseuds/monteyjames
Summary: the most awkward dinner ever. the twin panthers still want to kill each other. Ramonda just wants to have a nice dinner. Shuri just wants to be a film maker. and Everett Ross is still as useless as ever.





	Dinner is Ruined

So we start this scene off in the royal dining hall. Erik has been living in the Jabari village with M'Baku and has surprisingly been less hostile since. But _still_ He and T'Challa don't like each other. At All.

T’Challa: *stares at Erik angrily*

Erik: *stares at T’Challa angrily*

Everyone else: *trying to eat and have a semi-happy family dinner*

Ramonda: M’Baku, thank you for bringing over the okra and the squash. You all should really come to the golden city more often!

M’Baku: ehh. I would but we love the climate on the mountains more. It keeps us ready for anything.

Nakia: like… *slightly eyes Erik*

M’Baku: he’s actually really getting along well with everyone. The children love him too

T’Challa: Erik getting along with children? That’s something you don’t hear everyday

Erik: yeah. Like T’Challa being able to whoop somebody ass. You don’t hear that everyday

M’Baku: *snorts*

Shuri: this antelope steak is wonderful!

Ramonda: yes! Nakia, you make it?

Nakia: oh no! It was actually T’Challa wh-

Erik: it’s trash. It ain’t done enough.

T’Challa: *stares in pissed*

Nakia: … so M’Baku. Are you really a vegetarian?

M’Baku: yes. It gives us more energy. Even Erik here has noted to have more stamina

T’Challa: what? more stamina to get plowed?

Shuri: *almost chokes*

Erik: *stops mid-chewing to give his cousin the death stare*

Agent Ross: … anyway. why haven't you tried my potato salad yet?

Shuri: *drops her utensils*

Ramonda: We're... trying to cut starch out of our diet

Shuri: I'm allergic to Mayonaise

Nakia: I'm sure everyone just forg-

Erik: cuz it’s trash and bland as hell, Karen. Now shut the fuck up

Ramonda: bast-dammit

M’Baku: well I’m sure it’s nothing a little bit of mountain peppers couldn’t fix. Would anyone like some?

Shuri: I’ll take some

Nakia: me too

Tchalla: none for me. Mountain peppers are a bit too spicy.

Erik: figures yo bitch ass can’t handle any spice

T’Challa: huh. Nakia could you pass me the salt?

Nakia: sorry T’Challa. Erik has it

T’Challa: oh really? Figures it all would be near him.

Erik: *death stare intensified*

T’Challa: you know Erik, you should probably lay off the salt a little. It’s bad for your health.

Erik: yeah cuz. And you should bulk up some more. You starting to look like a crack head.

Shuri & M’Baku: *almost spit out their drinks*

T’Challa: I like to stay lean and agile. Plus I don’t need to put on a lot of muscle size. It would almost look like I’m trying to be big to overcompensate for something. Right, Erik?

Shuri: *SPITS THE WHOLE ASS DRINK OUT*

Ramonda: SHURI!!!

Shuri: sorry mother

Erik: alright muthafucka! I KNOW you ain’t just insult my manhood!!

T’Challa: why make insults or assumptions when we all know the truth?

Erik: well the TRUTH is about to be this ass whooping that you gon get!

T’Challa: Then let the battle commence!

Erik: ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

multiple crashes commence with punches being thrown and dishes being broken. I'm pretty sure Erik bit T'Challa's forearm and T'Challa tried to dislocate Erik's arm. Nakia and Ramonda are exhausted and M'Baku and Shuri are just acting like this is an entertaining UFC fight. 

M’Baku: I’m so glad you invited me to this dinner Shuri. We should do this again

Shuri: *records the fight* I’ll send you the director’s cut.

Nakia: Well this was a... very... nice dinner...

Ramonda: *Sighs* Where is the wine?

Nakia: Well T'Challa and I brought your favorite wine and we HOPING to announce our engagement tonight

M'Baku: Oh? Congratulations! We'll bring the best fruits to the wedding!

Nakia: as long as you promise not to bring...

(T'Challa: AHHH!!!! my leg!!!! you bastard!!!)

(Erik: Imma throw yo ass off the mountain again ya lil' bitch!!)

Nakia: _that_

M'Baku: oh no. surprisingly, Erik likes weddings. he even shed a tear at my brother Mandla's wedding

(Erik: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT!!!)

Ross: well I thought my potato salad was good

The women and M'Baku give Agent Ross an intense side-eye

Ross: What?

Ramonda: Everett, dear. not to say that we don't appreciate your company... bu-

Shuri: WHO THE HELL EVEN INVITED YOU!?!?!

M’Baku: my children are hunting wolves. They eat colonizers.

Ross: *gulps*

Ramonda: Fuck it. Throw him out of the window

M'Baku: With pleasure

*Erik tosses T'Challa onto the dinner table*

Ramonda: BAST DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!


End file.
